Dawn's Awakening Read online

  Her happiness would mean more to me than the knowledge that I could claim her without giving her the benefits of that claiming.”

  “He’s mine,” she whispered again and he heard the tears he knew she was now hiding from him.

  Her voice was ripping his heart in half though. God, she was the baby of their family, the one most abused, the one he had wanted to shelter the most. She was more to him than a sister, nearly as dear to him as his own son. And the broken, agonized sound of her voice made him plead to God to ease her path, because he knew she wouldn’t.

  “Dawn. He deserves more than a claiming,” he said gently, hating Seth Lawrence now more than he had ever hated him, for the pain Dawn suffered over him. But the man deserved more, just as Dawn did. Unfortunately, Callan feared Dawn would break rather than accept the memories she hid from.

  “He started it,” she cried out, and the sound of her voice was painful to hear. “He touched when he was warned not to. He touched when I whispered the risks to him. He touched me…” Her voice broke. “Now he can suffer as well, by God. Because I’ll be damned if another woman will steal what’s mine.”

  She jerked the strap of the duffel over her shoulder and strode from the room. The little warrior, that was how he always thought of her. Dressed in her uniform, too delicate to do the things he knew she did. She fought full-grown Breed males and she could put a hurting on them. She faced explosives and Council soldiers and drew blood with a sneer. But she couldn’t face her own past.

  He lowered his head and shook it before moving from the room and entering the hall. There he saw Jonas, standing silent and solemn as he watched the stairs Dawn had disappeared down.

  The other man sighed heavily, ran his hands over his short black hair and shook his head as though weariness had settled over him.

  “Call Dash,” Callan ordered the other man. “I don’t want this getting out of control.”

  “I should have killed Lawrence ten years ago,” Jonas bit out. “I nearly did. I had him in my sights and had my finger on the trigger. I could have saved her from this. I wanted to save her from this.”

  Callan felt a chill race up his back. He knew Jonas could be cold, efficient, and took the preservation of the Breed society as a whole with exacting seriousness. Seeing it though, hearing him speak so easily of killing an innocent man, grated on Callan’s sense of honor.

  Jonas looked at him and smiled mockingly. “You would have never known, and neither would she. But she wouldn’t be suffering now. And neither would you.”

  With that, Jonas followed behind Dawn as he jerked his sat-phone from the clip at his hip and contacted Dash.

  Callan stood where he was, feeling Merinus near him, then feeling her arms sliding around his waist, her head settling comfortingly against his back.

  “I can’t save her this time.” His voice was rough, husky with the knowledge that Dawn had to save herself now.

  “She’s grown, Callan.” Her hands tightened against his stomach, holding him close to her. “Let her do what she has to. She’ll never forgive you otherwise.”

  He turned to her slowly. “How do I forgive myself if she fails?”

  Merinus’s lips trembled as she reached up and cupped his jaw. “You won’t,” she admitted. “But you’ll know you did all you could to protect her. Everything you could, Callan. A man can’t ask any more of himself than that.”

  A man couldn’t ask more of himself than his own honesty, honor and pride.

  Seth stood on the upper balcony of the two-story, sprawling mansion situated in the middle of Lawrence Island, just off the California coast, and stared into the ocean of blue that surrounded them.

  He was a man who had everything other men wanted, but the core of sadness that had cemented inside his soul never abated. The mating heat had gone away; the torturous arousal for a woman he couldn’t have was no longer like a cancer growing inside him. But a man didn’t stop loving with the same ease. And Seth had never stopped.

  Ten years was a long time to grieve over the loss of one woman. A long time to obsess over the things he couldn’t have. Though, he admitted, she had grown in those ten years. She hadn’t been timid during that meeting at Sanctuary. She had been strong—a smart-ass, but strong. And it had turned him on. Even without the mating heat, with nothing abnormal or preternatural, he had been so fucking hot for her he’d nearly melted his chair.

  But those shadows were still in her eyes, and there was still a hint of fear there. And she was still the one woman he couldn’t have. All he had now was this and, maybe, the hope of someone to leave it to later. A child perhaps rather than a fucking board of directors.

  The island was lushly vegetated, private and fairly large. Cliffs fell into the ocean from the north, while the southern edge was a tropical paradise ringed by white sand beaches.

  Helicopters were landing on the eastern edge, along the helipads, and the additional house servants were collecting the guests in four-wheel-drive all-terrains, which would negotiate the rough roads to the house.

  Except for once every two years, Lawrence Island was a retreat rather than an entertainment center. Then, every two years, each room in the mansion and outer guest buildings was filled.

  They were filling up now, even as he watched. The pool behind the house was already in use, the billiards and cinema center being prepared for the arrival of the families of the board members, as well as the guests invited to enjoy the island.

  His father had begun the tradition of inviting more than just board members to the island during the meetings, and it was one Seth knew he wouldn’t keep up long. He was already looking at scheduling the next meeting at the home offices of Lawrence Industries in New York City rather than using the island any longer.

  He leaned his arms against the smooth railing that ran the length of the upper story, clasped his hands and watched as the Breed heli-jet settled on the private helipad closer to the house.

  Dash Sinclair and his family were arriving. He watched as Cassie climbed out behind her father, the waist-length trails of thick curls whipping in the wind as she stared up at the house.

  He couldn’t see her expression, but he knew she was staring directly back at him. Next came Elizabeth. Seth knew the Breed had left his young son at Sanctuary, his preferred location for the protection of his children when needed. He couldn’t understand why he had brought his daughter.

  He wiped a hand over his face and fought back the regret that burned through his mind like wildfire. Dawn could have been here, where he had dreamed of seeing her over the years. She could have filled his mansion with her spirit, and her haunted sadness.

  Fuck. Ten years.

  He stared out at the ocean again, the blue so intense it almost hurt the eyes, and imagined her there with him as he had a thousand times over. By his side. In his bed. Sharing his life and his passion. That had been his dream, his hope, and it had followed him even after those horrifying minutes that he had stood and watched the graphic, nightmarish proof of the life she had led in those labs.

  Which was one of the reasons the board members were now bucking the amount of time and money Seth was putting into Sanctuary and the fight against the supremacist groups rising against them. Because of what he had seen. Because of what he had lost.

  He moved a hand to his chest and rubbed at it absently. Right there over his heart, where the ache centered. Where he couldn’t forget the years he had spent so tied to her that his flesh had crawled with the need for her touch.

  “Darling, your guests are arriving. We should greet them.”

  He didn’t tense when Caroline moved to him and pressed her barely covered breasts against his back, her arms snaking around his waist and burrowing beneath the loose white cotton shirt he wore.

  His flesh no longer crawled at another woman’s touch, and he no longer stalked away, unable to draw so much as an ounce of interest in a sexual relationship with another woman.

  In ten years he hadn’t aged, but the oth
er effects of the mysterious mating heat had slowly worn away with the absence of the woman who had initiated it.

  Caroline was but one woman among many that he had taken to his bed in the past years. Someone to warm the nights, to spend the excessive sexual release he needed more often than he had before meeting Dawn.

  He was considering a more permanent relationship with her. He had given himself these two weeks as his deadline to make that decision.

  She was young enough to have children, was socially adept, and would be an asset among his business contacts. If he could only force himself to actually spend a full night in her bed rather than just a few hours.

  He moved from her touch, placing several inches between them, unconsciously drawing away from her even as he caught himself.

  And she noticed it as well. She always noticed it. Her lips tightened in anger, and rather than deal with the tantrum he could feel brewing, he placed his hand at the small of her back and led her toward the outside staircase to the first floor.

  “Why are all these Breeds arriving, Seth?” There was a snap to her voice as Lawe and Rule discreetly moved in protectively.

  “The Breeds provide security for all my functions; you know this, Caroline.” He restrained his impatience.

  He reminded himself that Caroline was no different than millions of other people who were uncomfortable with the Breeds’ presence, especially those who had foolishly or unknowingly supported the Genetics Council that created them.

  It was one of the reasons he was having so much trouble with the board of directors now. They wanted the funding toward the Breeds halted and for Lawrence Industries, and Seth in particular, to break ties with them. Only a few of those members backed Seth at the moment. He was hoping to draw more to his side before the two weeks were out.

  “Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Vanderale and Mr. Desalvo have arrived. You asked me to notify you when they reached the house.” The house steward stepped from the path leading to the front of the house, his bland expression belying the excitement in his hazel eyes.

  Richard loved the house parties.

  “Thank you, Richard.” He nodded as he turned Caroline toward the path leading around the house. “We’ll be right in.”

  Richard hurried ahead of them as Lawe and Rule came in behind them. Caroline’s body was tense now, offended sensibilities clearly demonstrated in the tap of her heels against the stone walk.

  “We should have been awaiting them in the foyer,” she snapped. “This does not make a good impression, Seth. And you haven’t even changed clothes yet.”

  He restrained his sigh. Women always bitched about changing clothes and the right impression, didn’t they? He seemed to remember that.

  “I’m sure Dane won’t mind the casual attitude,” he assured her.

  “Of course not. Dane Vanderale and his little sidekick are known for their eccentricities. It doesn’t mean you have to follow suit,” she hissed.

  He was glad to see the end of the path and the wide front porch where Dane leaned casually against the railing, a slim cigar clenched between his teeth.

  Dane Vanderale was an enigma, even among enigmas. With his rough, almost savage good looks, overly long light brown hair and mocking brown eyes, he could have been a Breed himself, instead of merely a supporter. Beside him, darker brown and lazily relaxed, his bodyguard and friend, Ryan Desalvo, watched as Seth and Caroline stepped onto the porch.

  “Caro, sweetheart, you get prettier every time.” Dane flashed her a smile before pulling her to him, smacking a kiss on her glossy red lips and smearing the brilliant lipstick.

  “Really, Dane!” She pushed away from his chest, but the offended tone of her voice held a shade more interest than Seth was certain she wanted known. “You’re insane.”

  Dane replaced the cigar between his teeth and chuckled before holding his hand out to Seth and glancing over his shoulder at the Breeds.

  “Pulled in reinforcements, did you?” he questioned. “I wondered if you would.”

  Dane was one of the few people aware of the attempts on Seth’s life over the past months.

  Seth grinned back at the Breeds, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

  “It’s good to see you, Dane.” Seth restrained his own grin at Caroline’s obvious attraction to Dane.

  “Seth, sweetheart, I’m going to go make certain everyone is settling in. I’ll see you later.” She reached up, kissed his cheek and moved to the opened doors leading into the mansion.

  Seth’s jaw clenched at the feel of her lipstick against his skin. He couldn’t wipe it off fast enough, though he pretended nonchalance as he did just that.

  Dane watched closely, his eyes narrowed. “Made up your mind yet?” he asked, and Seth knew what he was talking about.

  “I might as well.” He shifted his shoulders loosely. “I’m not getting any younger.”

  Dane shook his head slowly. “Some things a man has to fight for, Seth.”

  “And sometimes a man has to know when the battle is done,” Seth said softly.

  “I bet Dawn would be beautiful here.”

  Seth swung around, his eyes narrowing as Cassie stepped onto the landing to the porch, dressed in jeans and a tank top, her parents following close behind.

  He heard the emphasis on “Dawn.” She wasn’t talking about the fucking sunrise.

  “Cassie. Dash, Elizabeth, meet Dane Vanderale, heir to the Vanderale Legacy in Africa. His sometimes bodyguard and friend Ryan Desalvo.”

  Cassie paused in front of Dane, her eyes so blue they glowed as a little smile tugged at her lips and Dane seemed to tense.

  “Hello, Cassie,” he drawled, the African accent thickening his words and giving them a lazy, almost sensual sound. “Dash Sinclair. We met at Scheme and Tanner’s engagement party. And his lovely wife, Elizabeth.” He shook Dash’s hand, but he was careful to not touch Elizabeth as he made a show of brushing her cheek with his lips.

  “Dane, you’re a flirt.” Elizabeth smiled as Dash’s dark face creased into a scowl.

  Dash was a Breed. Fully mated. But even fully mated Breeds were known to be intensely jealous over their women.

  “He likes to live dangerously,” Dash commented mockingly, though he pulled Cassie back as she edged closer to the other man.

  Cassie flipped her hair over her shoulder and shot her father a frown that had Seth grinning. Cassie was inquisitive, sometimes too much. And Seth hadn’t missed it.

  “So I’ve been told regularly,” Dane laughed. He flipped the fire off the end of the cigar and tapped it into his palm before sliding it into the worn pocket of his bush shirt. “And I believe we’ll let the delectable little Caro show us to our rooms now. We’ll catch up with you later, Seth. Dash.” He nodded to both of them before strolling back into the house.

  All eyes turned to Cassie as she narrowed her gaze and watched him silently. The girl often saw things…

  “He’s like, cute. For an old man.” Her brows lifted as she quickly sidestepped her father’s swatting hand and laughed in delight.

  “Richard.” Seth motioned to the house steward lingering close by. “The Sinclairs are very special guests. Make certain they’re comfortable.”

  “Seth.” Dash nodded in acceptance of the compliment. “We’ll talk later.”

  Yeah, they would.

  Seth inhaled and turned back to stare out along the private drive and the vehicles rolling to a stop. Another Breed heli-jet flew overhead. Hopefully a few additional security members, Seth thought. Damn, he didn’t like this. The threat, the intel that another attempt would come here, within his own private fortress. And he had pushed Dawn away.

  Ten fucking years he had dreamed of her, dreamed of having her here, by his side. Letting it go was the hardest thing he had ever done.

  “Seth.” Lawe stepped up to him, his expression somber, but his eyes gleaming. “Dawn’s just arrived to take command of the group. Good luck, man.”

  CHAPTER 4

  She was just enterin
g the wide, sheltered portico of the mansion, her duffel slung over her shoulder, when she saw him.

  The door jerked open and he stepped from the house, his expression livid, his gray eyes dark and firing with fury as he slammed the door closed.

  Dawn smirked. It was completely unlike her; everything rolling through her senses and her emotions was completely un-Dawn-like since she had learned Seth had a lover.

  She stopped, cocked her hip and stared back at him as he stalked over to her, gripped her arm above the hem of the long-sleeved light jacket she wore and steered her to another entrance.

  Steered her nothing—he was dragging her. The heat of his palm raced through the thin material of the black jacket, fired against her flesh and sent erratic impulses rushing through her body.

  Past arousal was nothing compared to what she felt now. It wasn’t arousal—it was an imperative, all-consuming hunger and a need that she couldn’t survive without fulfilling.

  He was hers. He was a part of her soul. When had that happened? Other than those brief days ten years before, she hadn’t allowed herself to be alone with him, hadn’t allowed herself the hope that she could have more than the nightmares.

  She didn’t want the pity. She didn’t want the knowledge in his eyes of what she had been, but she couldn’t bear to lose him either.

  He pulled her into another door, slammed it closed, then swung her around to face him.

  Dawn smiled mockingly as she looked around the huge, deserted laundry room.

  “Isn’t this just a little too clichéd, Seth?” She drawled. “And here I’m not wearing my little French maid outfit. Should I change for you?”

  My God. His eyes. For a second, the hunger, the lust that fired inside them wiped the thoughts from her head and the saliva from her mouth, and not in fear. She could smell the lust pouring from his body, his pores, filling the room with the subtle scent of male musk and heated flames. It was the most erotic scent she had ever known.

  “Who the hell are you and what did you do with Dawn?” he snarled. “Better yet, why the fuck are you here?”

  “What, didn’t want me to witness you going to your knees in surrender when you propose to your little bunny of the month?” she shot back, and watched as his nostrils flared, his head jerking back in surprise. “Didn’t think Callan would tell me, Seth?” She wrinkled her nose as she had watched Cassie do a dozen times when slapping down one of the Breeds for impertinence. “Didn’t think poor little Dawn could handle the sight of it?”

  His lips thinned as she watched the anger build inside him. Well, that was fine with her. Let him get mad. Let him get as mad as she was and let him burn inside.

  “You’re right.” She lifted to her tiptoes and almost, just almost managed to get right in his face as she dropped the duffel bag, placed her hands against his chest and pushed furiously. “You have a problem on your hands, stud. See how you can fix it.”

  He fell back a step, his expression frankly incredulous as she felt, scented, knew, the hunger that began to whip through his system.

  The power of it slapped around her, tore through her like lightning and left her struggling to breathe as they glared at each other like combatants.

  “You don’t want to be here,” he snarled. “God damn you, Dawn. I won’t let you fuck me up again, and I won’t let you fuck my body up again. Get your ass back on that heli-jet and get out of here. I don’t want you here.”

  “Liar,” she growled furiously. “I can feel how much you want me here. I can smell it. I can feel it like flames burning over me, so don’t even try to tell me you don’t want me here.”

  His hands clenched at his sides; anger pulsed off his body in waves and fired her own, just as the arousal did. She could feel the familiar dampness growing between her thighs, feel her nipples hardening beneath her light summer-weight tank top and feel her hands and tongue itch.

  They itched like a rash. Worse than a rash. Or what she had heard a rash felt like. She wanted to touch. Touch his skin. She had to touch his skin, had to rub her tongue against it and infect him with the same insanity crawling through her.

  “I don’t want you here,” he bit out again, furious, sincerity ringing in his voice as it sliced across her soul. “I don’t want to look at you, day in and day out, and ache for something I can’t have, Dawn. You won’t rip through me like that again. I won’t allow it.”

  He didn’t want her? Had he ever really wanted her or had it just been the mating heat?

  Pride had her head lifting, her chin jutting in the air as she snarled back at him. “Then stay away from me, Mr. Lawrence. Keep your ass safe, and let me and my team find your irksome little assassin and I’ll just be on my way again.”

  “Why?” Frustration, fury, lust—they all filled his voice.

  “Why? Because it would look excellent on my résumé, of course.” She shrugged, the sarcasm in her voice thick enough to slice through. “Just think of all the nifty little government assignments I’ll get after this. Commanding my own team? In the thick of the danger?” She drew in a hard, sensual breath through clenched teeth. “Mr. Lawrence, I could command my own price. All because I managed to save your very tight, very sexy ass.” She flicked her eyes over his body slowly and smiled. “Oh, and maybe your little mistress while I’m at it. Tell me, Seth, does she scratch and beg for more, or does she lay there like the little ice princess she portrays herself to be?”

  Oh yeah, she had checked up on Miss Caroline Carrington herself. She had a nice thick file residing in her PDA and more information due at any time.

  “Do you care?” He was breathing hard, staring at her as though she were some alien creature he had never seen before. Well, let him stare, because she didn’t know herself anymore either. But she would figure it out before she left, and when she left she would make certain she had freed herself of Seth just as easily as he had managed to free himself of her.

  “Do I care?” She flashed a canine at him furiously. “Not for much longer I won’t, if I ever did.”

  It was killing her. It was breaking her soul in two, and she could feel the screams of agony ricocheting through the very core of her being.

  She had dreamed of him, ached for him. She had watched him every time he had come to Sanctuary and inhaled his scent the moment he left a room. She had fought herself, and she had lost. Now she was losing here too, and something inside her was screaming out at the pain of it.

  “If you ever did,” he growled, flashing a look of male disgust. “That’s the problem, Dawn. You never did, until now. Why now? Because someone else might have something you didn’t want to begin with?”

  “And when did you bother to ask me if I wanted it?” She wanted to scream. She wanted to rage and pound her fists at him. Because he hadn’t. He had never come to her. He had flirted, he had teased, and she hadn’t known how to handle it, so she had run. And within months he had stopped doing even that. He stopped seeking her out, and he stopped caring. And she had continued to hide, because as God was her witness she had no idea how to tell him she needed him when all she could see was that flash of pity in his eyes.

  “I followed you around like a lovesick puppy for months,” he bit out in self-disgust. “When I could find you.”

  “Months.” She waved her hand mockingly. “Poor little Seth didn’t get instant gratification. Isn’t that ju