Secret Pleasure Page 17

  The tears and the rage. Fury was unraveling inside her in a dark, heavy wave. And it had no place to crash.

  “Let’s get you presentable, sweetie,” Marty suggested as they drew her to a private room Landra used for impromptu meetings.

  “Here we go.” Releasing her in front of the comfortable, thickly cushioned sofa, Courtney headed across the room. “You definitely need a drink.”

  “I think I need a lot of drinks.” Glancing down at her dress, she restrained a sigh at the sight of the torn material. It extended from her knees to her ankles, the flowing fabric now showing the layered slip below.

  “Alyssa, what happened?” Sitting next to her, Marty touched her arm gently. “Dear, this very much looks like finger marks on your arm. Did someone try to hurt you?”

  A sharp, bitter laugh left her lips. “I think it might have been the other way around.”

  She shook her head at the question in Marty’s eyes and made herself ignore the concern.

  “Were you defending yourself?” Courtney handed her a shot glass of amber liquid. “Drink. You’re white as a ghost.”

  She drank, quickly. The liquor slid down her throat, heated and bracing as she inhaled sharply at the strength of it. The door to the room pushed open, Landra Collier stepping inside in all her stylish glory.

  The pale cream Grecian evening gown was the perfect foil for her black hair, dark eyes, and the sun-loving color of her skin. The hint of Spanish ancestry in her exceptional looks and fiery temper had always caused Alyssa to wonder at her connection to Shane and Sebastian, but she’d never asked.

  Now, Landra’s expression was creased with worry, her dark brown gaze gleaming with it as she held the skirt of her dress up enough to allow her to step quickly to Alyssa.

  “Alyssa, darling, what happened?” Kneeling in front of her, Landra touched the torn dress before her gaze immediately latched on to the faint discoloration along Alyssa’s upper arm.

  Strangely enough, the bruising had occurred in Sebastian’s efforts to steady her as he rode her with the power and strength she’d begged him for.

  “I’m fine, Landra,” Alyssa told her. “I fell in the gardens.…”

  “I’m sure you are, dear,” Landra agreed solemnly. “I guess I should have the gardens trimmed back a bit. It appears a branch might have poked your neck a bit hard.”

  The suspicious tone of the older woman’s voice caused Alyssa to flush. Sebastian had marked her; that was where the reddened brand had come from.

  Covering the mark with her fingers, she stared back at Landra miserably.

  “I’ve done something terrible, Landra,” she whispered. “Father will never forgive me.”

  Landra’s dark gaze softened, gentled. “Alyssa, sweetheart, your father would forgive you anything.”

  “Not this.” Her fingers curled into fists where they lay in her lap. “Never this.”

  The heavy slam of the door had Alyssa and Landra both surging to their feet as Courtney and Marty moved quickly in front of Alyssa.

  “Sebastian?” Courtney questioned him as she remained where she was beside Marty, trying to block his view of Alyssa. “Now is not the time for this. She is in no shape to battle with you.”

  “Don’t, Courtney.” There was no doubt of their familiarity, even if Alyssa hadn’t already known they were friends. “Leave. Now. All of you get the fuck out of here and let me talk to her.”

  “It’s not going to happen like that, Sebastian.” Marty sounded just a bit confrontational.

  “Stop this.” Alyssa moved away from them, glaring at Sebastian, at Courtney and Marty. “He’s not going to beat me, for God’s sake. He just wants to see how many of his lies I can stomach.”

  She didn’t need their protection; they should know that. She was perfectly competent in other areas of her life. Everywhere but where Sebastian and his cousin had completely destroyed it.

  “Sebastian, this is enough.” Landra sounded less than pleased with him now. “You swore you would not upset her. Look at her. The child is shaking like a leaf, disheveled, and obviously upset.”

  “Disheveled” wasn’t a good way to describe it, Alyssa thought with a sigh. And she wasn’t disheveled; she was furious. There was a difference. Yet so was he. And he had no right to be angry at all.

  “Courtney, if you and Marty will allow us a few moments of privacy,” Landra asked of the other two women firmly. “And please inform Davis it may be a few moments before I return. Do not tell him who I am with. That is my prerogative alone.”

  Courtney all but pouted while Marty gave a little roll of her eyes.

  “Unlike Khalid, I know when to butt out,” Marty informed Landra. “But don’t expect me to cover for something like this again, Landra. I won’t do it.”

  Whatever “this” was, Alyssa thought with bitter amusement.

  “Just go.” Alyssa lent her own firmly voiced demand. “I don’t need protection from him. And there are no weapons present, so he doesn’t need protection from me.”

  “Oh dear,” Landra murmured before breathing in deeply and turning to Courtney and Marty. “Go on. I promise I’ll handle this.”

  Landra would handle it. Alyssa had to force back bitter laughter at the thought. No doubt her father would learn everything before the night was out. What did it matter, though? The whole sordid tale would no doubt be revealed far too soon anyway.

  Stomping to the bar as the two women left, Sebastian poured himself a whisky, tossed it back, then poured another and repeated the action.

  Standing with his back to Alyssa, he seemed to be considering a third before he slowly released the glass and decanter.

  “Tell me, Landra.” He sounded tortured. “Did you know she lost our baby? That she was pregnant when she returned from Barcelona?”

  Landra gasped in shock and seemed to sway as she gripped the back of the chair she was standing next to, her gaze swinging back to Alyssa.

  “That was why you were so ill after you returned from Barcelona?” she asked, shocked, paling as she stared at Alyssa with tears in her eyes. “My God, you would have been at least—”

  “Nearly five months,” she whispered. “I became pregnant the first month I was in Barcelona. I was eighteen weeks pregnant when someone managed to slip a drug into me that aborted my baby. My personal physician became suspicious…” She had to breathe, just for a moment as agony lanced her. “The baby was fine during my checkup the week before. He ran tests after…” She couldn’t go on.

  She’d been able to hold her baby, as tiny as he’d been. Touch perfect fingers, thick golden-tipped black hair. She’d felt him move before she’d lost him. Felt his little foot against her palm as it lay on her stomach.

  And she wasn’t throwing any of this up at Sebastian. Why? Why wasn’t she trying to hurt him as she’d been hurt?

  Sebastian poured another drink that he finished quickly. A second later the glass shattered from where he’d thrown it to impact on the wall across from him.

  “Sebastian,” Landra whispered his name, tears filling her eyes as Alyssa watched. She turned then, a tear falling as she stared at Alyssa. “I am so sorry. So sorry.”

  “Why would Landra know?” Alyssa asked Sebastian rather than commenting on Landra’s sympathy. “It’s not as though she was part of our lives at the time.”

  Sebastian’s lips thinned, but instead of speaking he pushed his fingers through his hair before his gaze settled on Alyssa again.

  “I am Sebastian and Shane’s aunt, Alyssa,” Landra told her, her voice low. “Sebastian’s father is my brother. Shane’s mother my sister. Once you returned from Barcelona, I tried to watch out for you, but Margot rather blocked allowing others around for a while.”

  Yes, her mother had become incredibly protective after Alyssa had lost the baby. Only a few people had known of her pregnancy. Alyssa hadn’t gone out in public, the pregnancy wasn’t announced, yet someone had found out and managed to poison her child.

  “That’s w
hy you married Stanhope,” Landra said then. “For the child.”

  Alyssa nodded sharply. “Look, as interesting as all this is,” she mocked Sebastian’s pretense of grief, “I have a question.” She focused on Landra. “Does Dad know you’re his aunt?”

  Landra at least had the grace to glance away for a moment and shake her head. “The subject hasn’t come up,” she admitted.

  “Then I would say you’re unaware of the pictures he and Shane sent my parents? That they accused me of initiating the relationship that they found distasteful. And if I wasn’t kept from them, even if we were at the same social event, then those pictures would be sent to every porn site, paper and Internet based.” She would have sneered; instead, she watched as Sebastian seemed to pale.

  “My God!” Landra lifted her hand to her throat, shock filling her expression. “Alyssa, I know for a fact this is not true. I and my other sisters are all that kept Shane’s and Sebastian’s families from being bankrupted by the blackmailer that demanded Shane and Sebastian never see you again. Such pictures were used as well. For you, dear, for Shane’s and Sebastian’s love for you, five families paid a blackmailer for six years, until they were able to learn his identity and end the threat.”

  That couldn’t be true. It wasn’t possible.

  Dizziness threatened to wash over her before she steadied herself.

  “I have to say, you’re good,” she accused him, forcing the words past numb lips. “A liar to the end. Where’s the money you and Shane stole from your family?”

  “Sweet mercy, Alyssa,” Landra gasped, shocked. “You can’t think such a thing.” She stared between Alyssa and Sebastian before turning back, her lips trembling. “Alyssa, had they known about the child, nothing could have held them back. I swear that to you.”

  She couldn’t let herself think anything else. She couldn’t.

  “Keep fucking with me, Alyssa. We’ll both regret it—” Something dangerous rumbled in Sebastian’s voice.

  “You are a liar to the end,” she accused him, ignoring that warning, ignoring the trepidation, the suspicions beginning to rise inside her. “And I won’t stand here and listen to it.”

  “Then fucking sit!” The lash of his voice had a flinch jerking her body tight.

  Violence throbbed in his voice, tightened his haggard expression. Stalking to her, he caught her arm, holding her in place when she made a move for the door.

  “Shane and I did not do that—”

  She smacked him. A hard, open-handed blow. The sound exploded around her. When he turned his gaze back she smacked him again, just as hard. Before she could draw back for another blow he secured her wrists with one hand.

  Gently, so gently, he held her immobile, staring into her eyes as she met the black, swirling rage in his eyes.

  Releasing her slowly, he lifted the weight of the chain between her breasts, his gaze centered on the gems as her eyes opened.

  “Your heart bound by ours,” he reminded her. “I swear to you, may God strike me now, neither Shane nor I would ever do something so vile. Especially to you. To the one we pledged ourselves to.”

  She ripped the chain from her neck, throwing it in his face as she jerked from him. “I struck you for Him.”

  But she was breaking apart inside because she wanted nothing more than to believe Sebastian.

  “You will not run from me again.” Swinging her around, he forced her to face him. Refusing to let her escape the bleak suspicion rising inside her.

  “I won’t listen to your lies—”

  “By God, you will hear me,” he cursed furiously. “You know we didn’t do that to you, Alyssa. You know it.”

  “I won’t hear this—”

  “Do you think you suffered alone? We suffered with you, dammit. We felt your pain when you lost our child, and knew no reason for it. Two years ago we felt you die, felt you cry out to us that you were cold. That we had promised to keep you warm.”

  Shock had her swaying for a moment. How could he have known that? No one was there when she’d whispered those words.

  “We suffered a blackmail so vile it nearly destroyed five families to keep those pictures from being released. To protect you we followed a blackmailer’s demands to the letter until we fucking killed him six years later. Gregory Santiago, Alyssa. He orchestrated it, he was the only one that could have sent your parents those pictures, and we collected all the negatives, everything he had. And all we could think about was coming for you. Only to feel your death hours before we were to leave Spain and fly here.”

  “No.…” It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be.

  “We tracked him when he finally tried to transfer that money six years after beginning to collect the monthly payments. Two days before Stanhope stabbed you.”

  “It’s too late!” she screamed, ripping away from his hold once again, all the rage and pain of the past eight years exploding in her head. “It’s too late.”

  “Now who’s the liar, Alyssa,” he accused her, furious. “Do you believe for one second I’ll accept that?”

  “You have no other choice—” She couldn’t accept anything else. She’d suffered, she’d lost her baby, lost the men it had killed her to be torn from, and only in the past two years had she found a measure of peace.

  “Oh, siren, you just watch me show you the choices I have,” he bit out, his expression savage, sensual. “And I can prove your words for the lie they are.”

  “Kiss my ass, Sebastian,” she raged.

  “Oh, I will,” he promised her. “Right before I fuck it.”

  “My cue to leave, children,” Landra announced, making her presence known after Alyssa had forgotten she was even there.

  “No, it’s my cue to leave,” she told the other woman, backing slowly away from Sebastian. “I’ve had enough.”

  “We’re going to discuss this, Alyssa.” But he didn’t move to stop her. He glared at her, his eyes so black, bottomless, but filled with so many emotions she simply couldn’t face them now.

  “We have nothing to discuss.” She felt exhausted. “Content yourself with my earlier weakness, Sebastian,” she warned him with what she hoped was firm rejection. “There won’t be another slip. Thank you for the truth, eight years too late. At least now I know what I died inside for,” she told him, the weight of the knowledge dragging at her shoulders. “Too bad you didn’t tell me to begin with. Maybe then there would have been some part of me left for you to return to.”

  She slipped from the room without anyone stopping her. Sebastian hadn’t said another word, and that was for the best, she told herself.

  Rather than returning to the party to find her father, she left the mansion by the main entrance after calling the chauffeur and giving him her location. She wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and find a way to reconcile the past eight years of her life, eight years of loss and lies, with the reality she was facing now.

  The reality that, despite the danger of it, the cousins could have told her the truth. There were any number of ways they could have met with her secretly, at least told her. If they had, the betrayal wouldn’t have followed her every waking moment. Fear wouldn’t have lain about her like a heavy, wet cape, and the belief that the men she hadn’t been able to release had betrayed her wouldn’t have destroyed her from the inside out.

  They had shaped her life until two years before. Shaped it to the point that she’d nearly died, believing that the bond she couldn’t break was on her side alone.

  They hadn’t trusted her. Not even enough to see her one last time and tell her the truth.

  Just as Sebastian had never explained what had happened to the pregnancy test she’d left in the bathroom. The one that hadn’t been there when she’d awakened later that morning to find all the cousins’ belongings gone. If they hadn’t taken everything, then who had?

  *

  Sebastian forced himself not to race after her. Shane was within hours of landing in D.C., and once he learned the truth of the past eight
years, then they’d decide the best way to handle her determination to push them out of her life.

  “’Bastian, I had no idea…,” his aunt whispered.

  “I know.” He nodded, a sharp, certain movement. “I had to be certain.”

  A baby. A little boy, Alyssa had said. At five months the child would have been fully developed. Unable to survive outside her body, but growing, moving.

  “I guess I understand her mother’s abrupt departure from a cold, unfeeling shrew where Alyssa was concerned to one so protective it was sometimes impossible to speak with her without Margot hovering near,” Landra said quietly, her gaze filled with sorrow as she stared back at him. “Had I even suspected…”

  At least someone had tried to protect her, Sebastian thought. They sure as hell hadn’t done so.

  They’d believed she was safe. Married, and no gossip had been whispered of problems either with the marriage or with Alyssa herself.

  They’d failed her, though, in so many ways.

  Turning, he made his way back to the bar before staring at the liquor for a long moment. He’d spent those first two years existing in a bottle in one way or the other, to force back the demand that he find a way to see her, one last time. That he explain. That he hold her, let her shed her tears or her rage, whatever she needed to do, before releasing her and continuing to search for the bastard blackmailing them.

  Her siren song, he thought painfully. She’d tried—

  The door to the small private room opened again.

  “Davis.” Landra turned to her lover as Sebastian slowly turned to face him.

  He knew the moment Senator Davis Allen Hampstead recognized him. Alyssa’s father would have made certain he knew the identities of the men who had stolen his daughter’s innocence and apparently sent such pictures to him.

  The door closed rather hard. The senator’s eyes narrowed on him before he turned to his lover. “When did you intend to introduce me to your nephew, Landra?”

  Sebastian faced the painful knowledge that his aunt might have lost the man she had come to love so deeply.

  “It’s not her fault, Hampstead,” Sebastian informed him, watching the other man closely.