Hot Alphas Page 13

  They came to her steps first, both of them stopping, neither of them letting go of the other’s hand. Jay wished she could stretch the moment on and on, but eventually the silence between them got awkward and something had to be said.

  Coming up with nothing meaningful, she settled on her other possible epiphany.

  “Noah, do you work in that lingerie store? Is that why you were there?”

  “No.” He laughed. “I do not.”

  She loved the sound of his laugh. It made her smile despite her melancholy mood. “Then why were you there? You still never told me.”

  He paused. Finally he said, “I’d never been in one before. I wanted to see what it was like.”

  There was a sense of honesty in his admission, but his pause and the fact that men just didn’t go into women’s underwear shops to see what it was like on a regular basis caused her to doubt. “Were you ogling the mannequins? Or hoping to get one of the salesgirls to model for you? Is that how your dominance thing works?”

  “No.” He laughed again. Then suddenly he grew serious. “No. Look, I know that you have these preconceived notions in your head about things like this, and there’s probably nothing I can do to change your mind about them. Or me, for that matter. Which is really too bad. Because I honestly went into that store for the experience.”

  He took a step forward, closing the distance between them so that his natural manly scent wrapped around her like a blanket. “And the whole time I was there, the only thing I was thinking was how sexy everything there would look on you. A red see-through chemise would contrast with your dark hair so perfectly. Or maybe a black leather bustier would be nice to prop up your gorgeous breasts. And I definitely want to see you in wisps of white lace riding up your legs as they wrap around me.”

  Her breath caught and her pulse ticked up a notch. She should be offended, shouldn’t she? She wasn’t though. Not in the least. All she wanted, in fact, was for Noah to keep on talking.

  Fortunately, he did. “Maybe that’s a little too forward for you, and you might even call it sexist, but I call it infatuation. And since after today I’ll probably never see you again in more than a neighborly sense I have to lay all my cards out. I’m into you, Jaylene. Yes, I’m into dominance in the bedroom, but I saw your eyes when you read those words. The way they dilated, the way your breathing hitched—you were turned on.”

  “That’s not—”

  He let go of her hand and placed a finger to her lips. “Don’t talk.”

  She obeyed. Amazingly since she wasn’t one to quiet easily. Maybe she did have a submissive bone in her body after all.

  Wrapping his palm at the back of her neck, Noah pulled her toward him until their foreheads met. “You can admit it or not. That’s totally up to you. I just need you to know that if you’re interested … if you’re willing to explore another side of you, a side that’s personal and private and only reserved for the bedroom, then please consider me. I’d love to be the man who shows you what’s possible.”

  She was glad he was holding her, otherwise she feared she might have swooned. Like, actually faint from the effect of his dizzying words. They were a turn-on—such a turn-on—but more than that they were an invitation, and not just the peruse-books kind of invitation, but a deeper kind. The kind she’d been dreaming of.

  So why was she turning it down?

  Silly question. She knew that answer. She’d just gone over it and over it in her head as they walked. Still, she couldn’t manage to actually say no out loud. She couldn’t manage to say anything so she simply stood there, her jaw slightly dropped as she soaked in the moment. Noah didn’t prod her, seeming not to need a response. He took her hand and turned it so her palm faced up. He placed the plastic twist handle of the baked goods there and closed her fingers around it. Then he bent down to kiss her—a sweet, partially open-mouth peck that he laid on the side of her lips. “I’ll be seeing you, Jay.”

  “Yeah.” She’d see him around. They’d chat and exchange pleasantries. They’d banter about books. It would be fine. She nodded once before turning and making her way up the stairs, each step taking more energy than it should. She didn’t look back, but she felt his eyes on her until she’d passed through the threshold into the building and the door shut behind her. Then she felt nothing but alone.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She still had the monologue he’d left her with. The words echoed through her brain, spinning her in circles, begging her to take notice.

  She wondered about it as she wandered into her apartment, setting the sticky buns on the kitchen counter before greeting Pookie halfheartedly. Was Noah right? Could a woman actually be independent and progressive in the real world yet enjoy submitting to a man in the bedroom?

  Could she? There was a part of her that secretly wanted that—to be taken care of and controlled. A part of her that she’d always denied.

  So why couldn’t she try it? If it was private and no one knew, who would it hurt? Now that she thought about it, there were a couple of women in her liberal book group that admitted to not only reading about but enjoying D/s play and it didn’t seem to have any negative effect on their political beliefs. Also they did it with each other, so she’d never thought twice.

  Could that be her? Could that be her with Noah?

  Maybe it was something she could entertain further before making a decision. Though, as she’d already picked out a flirty dress and her prettiest pair of undies and matching bra while she’d had the internal debate, it seemed she might have already decided.

  CHAPTER 5

  Noah scrubbed a hand over his face and glanced around his apartment at the sea of brown. Everything finally seemed to have a place. Time to get to work. He’d delayed for longer than he should and now he was behind. At least he’d managed to completely unpack. Though he’d rather that his procrastination was due to something else, such as a date with Jaylene. Or an after-date with Jaylene. Or whatever it was called that involved nakedness and his body pressed on top of—inside of—Jaylene.

  Was that called a booty call? Now that was too crude. An affair? Too Night Owl. A neighborly get-together sans clothing? Too Wallbanger.

  Maybe he needed to write them a new book. Whatever the story turned out to be, it would star Jaylene.

  Jaylene. He couldn’t think about her without letting out a sigh. She was so … so … stubborn. That’s what she was. Along with a host of other less frustrating adjectives such as smart, adorable, sexy, intriguing, passionate. It was the stubborn that was the issue though. He got that she was worried. She’d invested all of herself into her independence, and that was one of the things he admired most about her. She was determined. She was strong.

  But underneath her strength he sensed something fragile and insecure, a part of her that yearned to let her guard down and be swept away. He could do that for her, he was sure. If only she’d let go and stop hiding.

  Hell, who was he to blame someone for hiding? Wasn’t that exactly what he did, not telling any of the people in his life what he really did for a living, dodging the questions, deflecting? There had been a moment outside with Jay that he’d almost told her. When she’d decided he worked in that lingerie store, he’d almost explained. But after what happened at the bookstore, after she’d correctly guessed his bedroom persona, he didn’t need a reason to push her away further. So he’d remained silent.

  It wasn’t like he was embarrassed about his choice of occupation. Actually, that was exactly what it was. He loved his job, wouldn’t give it up for the world, but there was a stigma. So many people out there were quick to point a finger, quick to judge. People like Jaylene Kim.

  And here he was again, back at Jaylene. His thoughts couldn’t help but circle back to her. Might as well let it go, he told himself. Stop fantasizing that his words sunk into her and that she’d show up on his doorstep in one of those slinky nighties he’d seen at Desires. Truthfully, that had been the reason he’d delayed working tonight—he was hopin
g she’d change her mind. Three hours had passed since he’d left her, though, and he was still alone. She obviously wasn’t taking him up on his invitation.

  Time to move on.

  Blowing a tuft of hair off his face, he slumped into his desk chair and opened up his laptop. He’d just pointed his cursor over his documents file when the knock came. He paused a moment, waited until he heard it again to be sure he wasn’t imagining it before closing the lid on his computer and standing.

  At the entry, he calmed himself down before turning the knob. This was not going to be his fantasy-come-to-life, so he shouldn’t get overly hopeful. He opened the door to find he was right—it wasn’t his fantasy. Not exactly, anyway, because Jaylene wasn’t dressed in a nightie. Also, his dream hadn’t included the plate of sticky buns that was clutched in front of her like a shield.

  It was better than he imagined, though, because this was real. She was here. And the sticky buns still so hot from the oven that the frosting melted down the sides like candle wax—they were a nice touch.

  Without a word, he opened the door wider. Whatever was to be said, even if this was just a neighborly visit, it would be better in private. After the door was shut, he turned to her. He wanted to say the right thing, though he didn’t have a clue what that would be. Silly since he’d been told many times that he had a way with language.

  Turned out he didn’t need to speak because Jaylene had her own speech to deliver. It was only two words, but they were the only two he needed to hear. “Show me.”

  Silently he took the plate from her hands and set it on the closest end table. Then, though he really wanted to pull her into his arms, he had to be sure she really wanted to be there. On his terms. “We don’t have to, Jay. Not this time. We could—”

  She didn’t let him finish, pushing herself into his chest and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Show me,” she said again before crushing her lips to his in a frenzied, hypnotizing kiss.

  Well, lesson one would be that he directed the seduction, but this was awfully pleasant as well.

  Their kiss lasted for what felt like hours. Or perhaps it was just seconds. It was consuming and passionate and time didn’t exist in the space that their lips were molded to each other. Their mouths moved greedily and her hands rushed to keep up, stroking the length of his chest with urgency.

  Soon she was pushing him toward his couch. It was hot how demanding she was, how out-of-control needy she felt in his arms. Only thing her direction was lacking was submission. And really, did she think he was going to give her the best night of her life on a freaking couch? He grabbed her by the ass and picked her up bodily. She made a small noise, but didn’t protest as he carried her, mouths still entwined, to his room.

  As they stood at the foot of his bed, his tongue tangled around Jaylene’s, Noah decided to forget the whole “show me” request, and instead just let their passion play out. He’d meant it when he said he didn’t have to have things happen a certain way, at least not every time. And this—Jay’s aggressive fondling and scratching at his clothes—it was turning him on with a blaze he hadn’t felt in quite a while.

  But just as Jay had controlled all of the seduction thus far, she undid Noah’s decision when she suddenly broke from his lips and fell to her knees in front of him.

  “Um…” He had to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh. She did look sexy like that—her head bowed, her eyes on his feet, as if she thought that was the pose of a submissive. It wasn’t so far off, but her execution was all wrong. She was missing the whole point, acting out of an assumed obligation rather than letting herself go. If she could just do that—if she could give herself over to him in earnest, then she’d see.

  He’d have to teach her.

  He stroked his hand down the side of her face then bent to help her stand. Her brow wrinkled in confusion, but he kissed her forehead in an attempt to ease her. “Follow my lead, Jay, okay?”

  “Okay, but…” She swallowed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed—”

  He shushed her with a brush of his thumb across her bottom lip. “I’m going to tell you. All you need to do is relax and focus on me, okay?”

  She paused, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

  Her mouth opened slightly and then closed again, and Noah knew she was fighting against her impulse to ask more questions. He let the silence settle between them so she could get used to it, get used to not being able to control the speed of their interaction. He knew her well enough to know this would be the hardest part for her, so he didn’t try to rush it.

  When he felt that she’d grown somewhat comfortable with the unknowing, he gave her the guidance she longed for. “Okay, here’s the rules.” He stroked his hands from the top of her spaghetti straps down her bare arms. “I’m the boss. You don’t argue with me. You don’t refuse my commands. If you don’t like something I ask you to do, just tell me and we’ll go back to something you’re more comfortable with. But the pleasure in this comes from trust. If you constantly question my requests, then neither of us will be as fulfilled as we can be. I won’t hurt you. Not really. Though I may bite. And spank. You are not allowed to do anything to me without permission. If you want to kiss me, you have to ask. If you want to touch me, again, you have to ask.”

  “Do I have to ask for permission to speak?”

  He chuckled. Expecting silence from Jay was irrational. Besides he loved her voice, loved the things she had to say (most of the time), loved the sounds she made in the back of her throat as they kissed. And he certainly couldn’t wait to hear what she’d cry out when he made her come.

  His pants grew tighter in anticipation. “No, you can talk. But I may ask you to be quiet at times, and then you’ll have to obey. Are we clear?”

  “Yes, Noah.” Her brows creased. “Or am I supposed to call you ‘sir?’”

  He barely controlled his eye roll. “Noah’s fine.” Yes, he liked to be the dominant in his sexual encounters, but he was by no means a true Dominant. He didn’t do the leashes and the collars and the sex clubs. Not that they didn’t sound fun for a night or so, but it wasn’t his lifestyle. He simply liked to control the pleasure exchange between him and his lover. He was good at it.

  But Jaylene couldn’t know that yet. She’d find out soon enough, though. He ran his hand through her hair, careful not to let her feel like she was being petted like a dog. “Any other questions?”

  “Just one.” She peered up at him with lust-filled eyes that held only a hint of trepidation. “Be worthy of me, okay?”

  God, that simple request tore him down, made himself question everything he’d ever thought he knew about what it meant to be a man. Made him want to be better, to be worthy of her in a way he’d never been worthy of anyone. His voice was so choked he couldn’t speak. So instead, he kissed her. Kissed her in a way that told her he’d give her what she wanted. That he’d make every attempt to be the lover she didn’t even know she needed.

  It was then that he decided how he’d be with her that night—slow and patient. He’d boss her around, but it would be all about her. He’d teach her to relax and he’d show her how freeing it could feel to let someone else have the reins for once. He’d be worthy of her. And maybe, as she let her guard down for him, he could learn to let her in, too.

  * * *

  Noah’s kiss was amazing. It stirred her in places she hadn’t known were able to be stirred. More than anything, it made her want to move further—to rip off his clothing and force him back onto his bed.

  But she controlled herself, hard as it was. When he broke from her, she couldn’t help smiling. Even though it was the exact opposite direction that she wanted to be moving, she’d let him lead, and that gave her a silly kind of self-pride.

  He took a step away from her and issued his first command. “Take off your dress.”

  It was baffling how Noah’s low and gritty voice could be so spine-tinglingly erotic. The way he looked at her, the way that he appraised her as she reached
behind her and unzipped, the way his eyes dilated as she moved first one strap off a shoulder then the other, letting her clothing fall to the floor in a pool at her feet—it aroused her as much as if he was already rubbing her toward an orgasm.

  Usually she was the type to throw clothes off as fast as possible and get to the banging. She’d had no idea that simply stripping for a man could be so hot. She’d been braless, so when he slowly scanned up her body, he lingered at the curve of her breasts, causing her nipples to rise to attention. His gaze held so much weight, and it took everything not to cross her arms over herself and try to hide. It was as if he were touching her with his eyes, skimming across her skin like feather-light strokes of his fingers.

  Imagine when he touches me there.…

  Or wherever he touched her, because he might not touch her there and she had to trust that if he didn’t it would be all for the best. And she did trust him, surprisingly. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be there in the first place.

  “Beautiful, Jay,” Noah praised her, sending waves of goose bumps down her arms. “I appreciate that you’re not trying to cover yourself up.”

  Another burst of pride shot through her. A nagging voice at the back of her brain said she was being ridiculous. She didn’t need his praise to know she looked good. And she certainly didn’t need his permission to decide how she was going to stand before him.

  But that voice was wrong. Not because she actually did need his permission or praise, but because she wanted both and that was why she stood there for him. That didn’t diminish her strength as a woman. Did it?

  If it did, she wasn’t thinking about that now. Now she was following as Noah led her to the chest at the foot of the bed. He sat down and turned her to kneel in front of him, her back toward him. Which was a little strange. Until he started massaging his hands through her short hair. Then it was anything but strange. It was magical.