Loving Lies Read online

  “No, I didn’t.” Her fingers fisted in the towel as he crowded her nearer the bed. “I forgot about you the minute you left. I didn’t even miss you.”

  She was shaking, she wanted him so badly. Trembling with the awareness that the clawing lusts that tortured her for years would be sated by his body, his hunger, his ability to still the needs that ravaged her even as he made her crave more.

  He laid the wand and tube of lubrication on the small table by the bed before whipping his shirt off. He didn’t argue, he didn’t say a damned word. He undressed. Tossing his shirt to the side, his gaze never leaving her, he bent and removed the boots and socks before his hands went to the snap on his jeans.

  “Drop the towel.” His voice was graveled, thick with lust. “Let me see that pretty little body, baby.”

  “Go to hell!” she cried, shaking, anticipation tearing through her as the snap released and his finger went to the zipper.

  Her mouth was watering. She remembered his taste, musk and male heat, the feel of his cock spurting into her mouth, his seed salty and rich as it attacked her taste buds before flowing down her throat. How many times had she dreamed of it, dreamed of feeling him between her lips, hearing his hard, explicit words as she sucked him dry?

  “You should see your face.” The zipper was open, his fingers hooking in the waistband before he shucked jeans and briefs, leaving his body gloriously naked. Straightening once again, his cock arrowed back from his abdomen, flushed with angry lust, the flared head damp with pre-come. “Such a hungry little baby,” he crooned, his hand wrapping around the stalk. “Come here, baby. Come on, let me go crazy fucking your sweet mouth.”

  She whimpered. God, she was such a fool, a willing pathetic victim.

  “Slade, please…I can’t do this again…” She couldn’t risk her heart.

  “I lived for this,” he whispered, his eyes tormented, his expression lined with an emotion that could have been pain. But why pain? He had left her, not the other way around. “I lived for the day I could come back here, that I could make up for what I did to you. That I could live again. I won’t walk away, Jessie. You want it just as fucking bad as I do.” He stepped closer. “We can do it the easy way, baby, or the hard way. Give me your sweet mouth.”

  His hand gripped the towel, pulling it away from her as she felt tears fill her eyes. She stared up at him, desperate, oh God, she was so desperate to taste him again, to take what he offered, to gorge herself on it.

  “I hate you,” she whispered.

  “Of course you do, sweet baby.” His hands pressed lightly on her shoulders as she sank to her knees. “And I don’t blame you a bit… Fuck. Yes…”

  Her tongue licked over the dark head, drawing in the taste of his pre-come, moaning at the intoxication of his passion. Her lips opened, wide, feeling his cock sink in as her hands gripped his powerful thighs and her senses stole reasoning.

  “God. Baby girl.” His hands threaded in her hair as his hips bucked against her lips, driving the crest deeper. “There you go, sweetheart. Love me, Jessie. Love me.”

  Instinct took over. There was no thought of the pain, the past receded and only the pleasure remained. She relaxed her throat, taking him deeper than she ever had before, swallowing against the thickness that threatened to strangle her before pulling back and repeating the process. Her tongue stroked against the underside of his cock as her hands moved, the fingers of the first cupping and stroking his taut testicles while the other moved to the cleft of his ass.

  He jerked, forcing his cock deeper. She swallowed, moaned, her fingers finding the forbidden little entrance that brought such pleasure, and massaging slowly.

  “That little fucker Jazz is dead,” he groaned, a tortured sound of pleasure. “…fucking kill him…I know he taught you that. God. Fuck. You’re killing me.”

  She let her throat stroke his crest as she massaged the anal entrance, her fingers cupping and tightening on his balls while her mouth tightened around his shuttling cock. Pre-come leaked furiously from the head, filling her with his taste as she gorged her senses on the fantasy come to life.

  Animalistic growls echoed above her as his fingers bunched in her hair and pulled, creating a delicious burning tingle in her scalp that shot straight to her pussy.

  “Yeah. There, baby, you go ahead…” he moaned roughly, a tortured sound of male pleasure as her fingers tormented him. “Tease, baby. Let me fuck that pretty mouth while you tease. Because you’re going to scream…” He tightened to the breaking point as the tip of her finger pressed at the anal entrance. She massaged, teased; her throat swallowed against the head of his cock before it retreated, only to shuttle back.

  “Hot fucking mouth,” he groaned, pulling at her hair as she moaned in uncontrolled hunger. “I could live in your damned mouth, sucking my dick day and night… Oh baby… Sweet baby…” He was vocal. More vocal than she remembered him being as the explicit words filled her head, shook her senses.

  She pulled her finger back from his ass, swiped it through the moisture that coated his cock before returning and entering the barest bit, pushing inside as he bucked against her. A shattered cry left his lips as hot, furious blasts of his come shot to her throat.

  “God. Fuck. You little minx…” His voice was strangled as he flexed, a short little stroke that pushed his cock into the back of her mouth for each pulse of his semen before he jerked back from her.

  Before she could gasp, he pushed her to the bed and jerked the tapered anal wand from the table. Slade rapidly coated it with lubrication before gripping her hand and wrapping her fingers around the hilt of it.

  “Use it,” he growled, staring at her like a man possessed by lust. “Spread your legs and fuck yourself with it.”

  She stared back at him, confused.

  “Do it.” He took her wrist, lowering it until the tip of the fake cock was nudging at the folds of her pussy. “Push it in. Let me watch you fuck yourself with it, Jessie. Let’s see how hot you can get before I turn you over and fill your hot little ass with it. Play with me, baby.”

  Slade was shaking with lust, with love, with all the pent-up hungers and desires that had haunted him for far too many years. And there was the only reason he had stayed sane. Jessie. Her legs spread, her eyes staring up at him, innocence still reflected in the deep brown depths as he watched her press the tapered end of the anal wand into her tight little pussy.

  She worked it in, gasping, filling his ears with the sweet sound of her greedy need as he watched the knobby length disappear up her pussy. The muscles of her thighs were tight, tense as her knees bent and her hips jerked against the intrusion. Her head thrashed on the bed as she whimpered his name.

  Jazz might have taught her to suck cock, but he hadn’t taught her this. She was as much a virgin to the toys as she had been to his cock the first time he filled her. And it was killing him. This was his shame, his insatiable lust for one delicate little woman, the need to push every sexual boundary she could possess as he stole her heart and soul for his own. Just as she owned his.

  He had always had the power to make her want. He had seen that, been so brutally shocked by it when she was only seventeen that it had terrified him. The first time she orgasmed for him hadn’t been in his RV that weekend. It had been on the bank of the lake, slow dancing, her bikini-clad breasts rubbing against his chest when he smartly slapped her ass for teasing him.

  She had shuddered, her breath breaking, her face flushing as her eyes grew dazed and her hips bucked against him. It hadn’t been much, hell, he doubted if she had known what had happened, but he had. And it had nearly killed him then not to take her. Waiting the next four years had been hell. The five years after he had first taken her had nearly killed him. And he intended to make up for it all now.

  “God, that’s pretty,” he crooned, sitting on the bed below her, his hands settling on her knees to open her legs further. “Pull it back, baby, let me see you take your pretty pussy.”

  He watched the
flushed, bare folds convulse at his words as her syrup bubbled from around the wand. He leaned forward, his tongue slowly licking around the shaft buried inside her, slurping the excess sweetness from the intimate lips.

  “Go on.” His hand at her wrist urged her on, his head pulling back, watching the toy sink inside her again. “Good girl. You keep doing that, baby, and I’ll do this.”

  Picking up the lube, he spread a generous amount on his fingers. Lowering his head once again to the juice-laden curves, he tucked his fingers at the opening to her ass.

  “Oh God. Slade…” Her hips lifted as he began to press two fingers into the tight entrance. He had no intention of easing her too gently into his return there. He wanted her to burn, wanted her to scream with the pleasure/pain he knew she craved.

  “Did you miss me here, baby?” Thick, wide, he worked his fingers inside her, feeling her tissue spasm around them as her broken breaths filled the room. “Did you miss me up this sweet little ass?”

  “Yes.” The feminine growl had his cock jerking in its own demand. “Oh God, Slade, I missed you. I missed you bad.”

  Her hips arched, forcing more of his fingers inside her as whimpering cries left her lips.

  “Here, baby.” He brushed her still hand from the anal wand, knowing she had passed the point where she could fuck herself to completion with it. “Let’s try this.”

  He pulled the toy from her pussy, eased his fingers from her ass despite her cry of protest. “Let me watch it fill your little ass.”

  He watched. Tucking it against the flexing entrance, he was consumed by the sight of her struggle to take each progressively larger knob until it was anchored in, no more than half the length disappearing up the little hole.

  Her pussy was reddened, flowered open, the tender entrance fluttering in hunger. He shoved his tongue inside it, licking, suckling, consuming the sweetness flowing from it. She arched to him, a strangled scream leaving her throat as she began to orgasm from the hard thrusts of his tongue up the tight little portal.

  He was a man possessed. Before the tremors eased from her, he was rising between her thighs, pulling the wand from her ass as he lifted her to him, pressing her knees back to her chest and positioning his cock to take what had remained his alone.

  This was the final test of intimacy. Of giving. The trust it took to accept the intrusion here had always fascinated Slade. And no woman had ever taken him there with the hunger Jessie did.

  The head popped in as she screamed beneath him, tensing at the sensations as he stretched her further than he had allowed the wand to stretch her. He spread her legs against his shoulders, his gaze going from her face to the impalement of her ass.

  “I wish I had brought the dildo in here now,” he growled. “I could push it inside your tight little pussy as I fill your ass. Would you like that, baby? Would you like me fuck you like that?”

  Her head tossed, her eyes dark slits beneath her lowered lids as she panted for air.

  “It hurts…” she whimpered, her ass flexing around him.

  “Should I stop?” He moved to pull back, suddenly afraid he had pressed too far, too fast. God, sometimes it was hard to remember how tender she was, she took everything he gave her so readily.

  “No,” she cried out hoarsely. “Please don’t stop…please…”

  Her head moved back and forth as he felt the struggle to accept him in the spasming of her ass around the head of his erection.

  “Do you like the pain, baby?” She liked the edge of pain. He knew that. Nothing severe, nothing extreme, just enough to make the pleasure sweeter.

  “Yes,” she gasped, finally easing around him enough to allow him to press forward.

  “More?” He gave her another inch, hearing her cries as they shattered around him.

  “More.” She was fighting to breathe, her tummy tense, her clit flared to full life between the folds of her slit as she arched closer. “Oh God, Slade. I dreamed…” A tear trickled from her eye. “I dreamed of this. I dreamed and dreamed… Please. Please do it like you did before. Make me burn…”

  His control was screwed. He jerked back, flipped her to her stomach before lifting her to her knees and returning to her. He worked his cock in, holding back, forcing himself to take her easier than his body demanded, working his shaft inside her until he filled her, stretched her, burned them both. Her back arched and her whimpering cries for more nearly shattered his control.

  It wasn’t easy. Not like it had been that first time. He was too hungry. Too deprived of the pleasure of her body. He fucked her like a man demented, digging into her ass with his cock with each thrust, growling, snarling, thrusting harder and deeper until he reached his hand beneath her, plumped her hard little clit and felt her shudder and pulse around him. His own release shot from his cock in blinding streams of hot come that had a shout erupting from his throat. He filled her, marked her, claimed her forever in each pulse of his orgasm as he collapsed over her.

  For the first time in five years, the grieving pain in his chest lessened. It did nothing for his hard dick, though.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jessie thought he would be finished. The violent orgasms that had torn through her body left her wasted on the bed. Unable to move, forget thinking, she drifted in a haze of satiation, certain that sleep was within seconds of arriving.

  She hadn’t been this tired in years; every bone and muscle in her body was relaxed, sated, weak as a newborn kitten. A smile edged her lips at that thought. Only Slade could do this to her, as much as she hated it.

  She heard Slade in the bathroom, water running, something rustling. A second later the mattress dipped and he was filling her again, sliding into the swollen, still violently sensitive tissue of her pussy.

  Her eyes widened, instantly caught by his gaze, his tender, cloudy gaze as his hands framed her face and a tight smile pulled at his mouth. The look in his eyes brought tears to hers. Heat and need, not sexual need, but a soul-deep, spirit-core hunger that she knew all too intimately herself.

  “I’ll be done soon.” His breath broke as she spasmed around him, her hands moving to cover his, too tired to lift her arms to hold him to her. “I just want to hold you like this, feel you holding me. Hold me, Jessie.” He rested his forehead against hers as she forced the energy into her tired arms to move.

  She wanted to hold him. Forever. She wanted to feel the warmth of him seeping into her, the strength of him filling her. He was like a drug, one she was hopelessly, helplessly addicted to.

  “Shush. No.” His hands gripped hers, holding them against her head. “Not there. Here.” He flexed his hips, pressing deeper, piercing her with a blinding wave of pleasure. “Just hold me, baby. Let me believe it’s not just a dream.”

  The remnants of grief filled his eyes. Staring at him this close, her vision filled with the gray and black color, she watched the emotions that flickered in their depths.

  “Slade.” She protested the remorse she saw there. The possessiveness. “We can’t go back…” Her breath broke as his hips flexed again, sending pleasure rushing through her. The engorged crest stroked over the entrance to her womb, pressing, sending flames leaping through the sensitive tissue.

  “The past never left,” he whispered, staring into her eyes. His hands moved to frame her face again, his thumb stroking over her lips as his expression twisted into lines of such amazing emotion it filled her soul with warmth. He warmed her. “The past has always been here…” He flexed inside her gently, heatedly. “And here…” He lowered his head, his lips pressing between her breasts, caressing the flesh over her rapidly beating heart. “It’s never been gone, baby.”

  No, it hadn’t been. It had lain inside her, sleeping, dreaming, waiting to awaken in Slade’s arms. She knew that. Admitted it. There was no pleasure greater than this, nothing that could warm her from the inside out or fill the lonely places in her soul except Slade.

  Tears filled her eyes as he moved inside her, his cock stroking through the
tight muscles, slow and easy, sensitizing nerve endings that had lain dormant, awaiting his touch. God, she had missed him. She missed him like sunlight, like heat in the darkest winter. And like spring, the sunlight was back, warming her, cracking the ice and destroying the shields she had built against the pain.

  “You left me.” Her breath hitched at the remembered hurt as his body tightened above her. “You didn’t want me…”

  He jerked above her, his hands tightening on her head as his breath rasped from his chest.

  “I wanted you more than I wanted to breathe.” He raised his head, his hips moving against hers, stroking, stealing her mind, cementing her soul to his. “I wanted you until I ached, until my soul broke inside me, Jessie. And I couldn’t have you. As much as I wanted you, I couldn’t have you.”

  Why? She wanted to ask the question, wanted the answers but her body’s wants overruled those of her heart. Her legs lifted, gripping Slade’s hips as he began to fuck her with slow, easy strokes, the burning pleasure wiping through her senses and sending her spinning toward the sun.

  Slow and easy. He didn’t take her furiously, he didn’t love her desperately. He loved her as he had that first weekend after the first blaze of lust had been fulfilled. He loved her with his lips on hers, his tongue tangling with hers, his hands holding her head still as he gave, and took only her pleasure in turn.

  He loved her with his body, working his erection inside her gripping pussy, moaning at the clasp of her as she whimpered wordlessly at the heated stretching. He took her in ways she had never even dreamed of. Staring into her eyes, and as her orgasm washed over her, he lowered his lips to her ear.

  “I’ll love you until I die…” His body bucked above her as he whispered the words, his own release tearing through him, shuddering through his body and filling the condom she hadn’t realized he had donned until that moment.

  I’ll love you until I die. So why had he left her and taken another woman with him?

  Night had settled in, filling the interior of the bedroom with darkness as the curtains blocked the moonlight outside. Slade lay back on the bed, naked, his body covered by Jessie. She was stretched out on his chest, her hair falling down his side, her legs enclosed by his. A treasured weight that he relished as he listened to her breathe.